Star Wars Return Of The Jedi Ewoks #1

"THESE TEDDY BEARS RUINED STAR WARS!" This was the cry heard round the world as seventeen year olds left theaters across America in 1983. The very first man babies exclaiming for the first time that George Lucas ruined their childhood. We all know they weren't the last, for we live in a world where there are new things daily that ruin Star Wars which continue to be the (Darth) bane of a certain number of certain people.

We're going to ignore them for now.

Keeping in mind that Ewoks eat people, and that the Ewok featured on the cover clearly has never thought of anything outside of murder, let's take them seriously for a minute. Originally, George Lucas was going to have wookies at the end of Return Of The Jedi. His intention is that they were an metaphor for the Viet Cong of all things, the pervasive threat no giant army could have expected. He had to change that when he had previously shown that wookies are very technological adept as that was a big portion of said metaphor. Solution? Cut them in half, remove anything but primitive tools and fire, and set them loose against a far superior force. From there, we move to this issue.

Two of these stories aren't going to do much to do away with the teddy bear image. The first one is a Romewok and Juliet story, prominently featuring Dulocks from the Ewoks cartoon. The last story features an Ewok who dreams of flying without a hang glider. This may fight against the intent that they can't use technology. It IS notable for making a Kenner Mini-Rig canon, and for the full on murder of a Biker Scout after an initial attempt fails.

Our middle tale is where the bread is buttered, showing there are things that want to eat Ewoks as much as they want to eat people they don't like. Beautiful, dark artwork by Kyle Hotz setz the tone for the worst outcome for a scouting party.

What this means is that there is probably something for everyone to hate in this issue, but it is Wednesday, and we only get one a week. Let's flip that to mean there is probably something for everyone to LIKE in this book, no matter your style of Ewok, from mushable to murderous.